Farangis

How My Life Changed, but My Determination Didn't

It was a normal physics exam day at our school. We were all happy because it was the last day of our exams, but none of us knew that it would also be the last day we could attend school. If I had known this, I would have stayed longer in my class and enjoyed the moment longer.

After that day, nothing was like before. Not my days, not my nights. I was not the same girl who had dreamed of becoming a doctor and never imagined that her dreams could be interrupted. I watched my dreams drown day by day.

What passed during these five years was my whole teenage life—these years taught me resistance, hope, and pain.

The first year was one of the hardest. I prepared my clothes, bought my school bag and books, and got ready to return to school. But when I arrived, I faced a locked door. I came back home with no hope. I cried, I shouted, and I felt lost, but nothing could change what had happened.

After that, I told myself, "This is my story, but this is not my desired ending. I will become an educated woman and make my country proud."

So, I started learning English and computer skills. At that time, I did not have good access to the internet, and many educational opportunities were not available. I started self-studying with all my mistakes. There was no teacher beside me. It was only me, my notebooks, my books, and my dictionary.

Slowly, I improved my English and reached the B2 level. After becoming more confident, I started learning programming and guided myself toward the coding field.

However, learning computer skills was not easy. Paying for courses was a challenge. I did not want to ask my family for everything because I knew they had their own problems. I wanted to stand on my own feet.

So, I started teaching English and used my salary to pay for my courses. But one question was always in my mind: "What about my school?"

I started searching for opportunities and found an international school where I could continue my education. I applied for the first time, but I was rejected. I felt disappointed and thought, "Should I stop trying?"

But my answer was “no.”

I improved my English, worked harder on my studies, and prepared myself for another chance. When the second application round opened, I applied again. I spent many nights working on my application, and finally, I got accepted.

Starting school again and working toward my diploma was not an easy step, but it was a step closer to my dreams. It reminded me that sometimes the path changes, but the destination can remain the same.

After getting back to school, I continued studying computer skills and learned the basics of programming. When I reached advanced topics, things became harder. I needed a better computer, and that required money.

I thought I could not ask my family for all of it because they already had their own challenges. So, I started teaching in two shifts instead of one. I saved part of the money myself and asked my family to help me with the rest.

At first, it seemed difficult, but when I saw my father's support, I felt encouraged. Finally, I bought my new PC with so much happiness.

Having my own computer opened a new door for me. Now I am continuing my web development journey, and I am getting closer to my dream of creating a learning community where Afghan girls can learn and improve their skills.

During my teaching journey, I also volunteered to teach girls who could not afford classes. Helping them made me feel like an active person in my society. It showed me that education is not only about improving yourself; it is also about helping others.

Throughout these years, I faced many challenges and rejections from different opportunities. One of my biggest challenges was learning English by myself. I had no teacher or anyone to guide me. But I continued, and today I am learning a second language in my school. Sometimes I look back and feel surprised about how far I have come.

I know it has never been easy for Afghan girls to overcome challenges and become the best version of themselves. But I have also learned that it has never been impossible.

Every girl has a unique story. My story began when I saw my dreams drowning and realized that I needed to find another way.

There were many moments when I worried about my future. I wondered if I would be able to graduate, build my career, have my own income, and support my family one day. These thoughts sometimes stayed with me day and night.

But I always reminded myself that my story would not be a story of giving up. It would be a story of resistance, consistency, hope, and pain. Through these years, I learned that pain can make us stronger.

Today, I am not exactly where I dreamed of being. I am still learning, and I still face challenges. There are opportunities that I get rejected from, but I never want to give up.

August 15, 2021 changed my life, but it did not destroy my determination. The beginning of my story was written by circumstances I could not control, but the ending of my story will be written by me.

I believe that every Afghan girl has the ability to create a better future. The path may be difficult, but difficult does not mean impossible.