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A Journey Through Pain

by Azizi*

I am a girl. A girl from the people and from the heart of Afghanistan, a girl who is 24 years old and has lived and still lives in Afghanistan, like thousands of other Afghan girls. 🇦🇫

I was supposed to finish my university at the age of 23 and see the results of 16 years of hard work that I had gone through with thousands of problems, but with thousands of hopes and new goals, I would step into a new path of my life. 🎓✨

Unfortunately, years have passed, and we are in the early days of the third year that I have been left behind, without my studies and education. 😔

No one knows and cannot understand how I bear this pain and despair with such heaviness, except me and thousands of Afghan girls like me. 💔

A person can only be understood by someone who has experienced and gone through the same path and life. Can anyone understand the time I used to walk a long distance from home to my neighborhood to prepare for the university entrance exam and then walk back the same long distance? The time when my hands and feet were shaking from hunger and I had no money but ten Afghanis to eat something. When I remembered that I would get home at seven in the evening, I had to spend this money on my way. 🥺

Who wants to understand this and bear my hardships to be aware of my pain? 🤷‍♀️

I was lucky that I had the same ten Afghanis to spend on my way in the cold and snowy weather and to bear the hunger. But alas for that innocent girl who had no father and was an orphan, she did not even have bread to eat and shoes to wear. 😢🥶

Can you spend just a second to bear this difficult moment of ours? 🕰️

We are still Afghan girls who endure these worst moments, conditions, and injustice. We did not even have a role in determining this situation and we are not even allowed to change this situation or even say a word. 🗣️🚫

Dear international community, my question to you is, can the lady or girl you choose as a representative and discuss in the conferences in the name of Afghan girls and defending the rights of Afghan girls experience just a second of our pain and be able to understand what a heavy burden of buried hopes and aspirations we carry? 🎤😟

With what principles and characteristics do you call them our representatives? Have they heard and solved the pain and problems of any of us? 🤔

I have lived in Afghanistan for 24 years, and I have never seen anyone ask me, as an Afghan girl whose right to education has been trampled on, what I want to do to raise my voice. 🎓🔇

Can anyone even understand the pain of a widowed woman who puts her orphan child to bed hungry with a thousand promises that they will be full tomorrow, and has no hope from tomorrow morning that food will reach her child or not? 🍞🥺

Can anyone understand the pain of a mother who has to endure the arrest and killing of her only son for the crime of being a soldier in the former government? 🎖️😭

Can anyone understand the pain of a mother who, due to unemployment and poverty, separates her child from her side and sends them on a dangerous journey, even to the point of trafficking human organs and an unknown future? 🛤️💔

Can anyone understand and bear the pain of that bitter experience of a girl who has been released from the prison of the government, or is in prison for the crime of demanding her right to education and who is now called by ugly names? 🚪😢

No, they do not. They do not even have the ability or the courage to listen to all the pain of the abandoned Afghan women and girls, let alone understand this heavy pain. 🗣️💔

My request to YOU is that whoever you choose as our representative to be the loudspeaker of the Afghan woman's voice should be aware of and understand the pain of all Afghan women. They should be from the people and for the people. 🗣️❤️

Choose someone as our loudspeaker who has the ability to hear our voices, not someone who has become a representative with a golden text in the name of me and us, without even asking me what I want. 🏆🚫

Why don't we try to identify and eliminate the cause of this crisis, instead of always looking for solutions when a crisis or bad situation occurs? For years, Afghan women have been suppressed, and thousands of people have become representatives in my name, as an Afghan girl, and have raised their voices, but I am still in the same situation. 🤦‍♀️🔄

From the despair I had three years ago about what our future will be, to the horrific situation today, I still say, when will our help come? 😔🌪️


*Azizi is a pseudonym. For safety reasons, we cannot publish her real name.

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